


Think of me

by liltwinflow



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon Compliant, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:55:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24407656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liltwinflow/pseuds/liltwinflow
Summary: Soulmates were determined by the first thing they thought of you appearing on your wrist, Kenma was told, perhaps that was what scared him most. There were many things a person could think of you, many things they could say about you, assume and make up. Kenma lived hyper aware of this, Kenma made sure not to stand out. He rather get no words at all than something negative for the rest of his life, no one said the words on your wrist would be nice.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 5
Kudos: 228





	Think of me

**Author's Note:**

> This was part of a collab with my dear Tetsu! It's been in my drafts for months so I decided to bring it to light.

Kenma’s interest in soulmates was short lived, just like the excitement which came with getting a new game only to discover it wasn’t worth the hassle. The satisfaction of completing it was there of course, it always was, and that’s what pushed Kenma to finish them. He wondered if he would gain the same satisfaction finding a soulmate of his own. He very quickly decided against it. 

As a child he could only listen to his family and parents talk about the topic for so long before he grew bored of it, his mind wondering elsewhere as their eyes glistened with joyful memories. They were weird, he decided, everyone might as well be player of a game having everything predetermined for you; he thought. Yet games were fun, and that was were conflict came into play. 

Not everyone ended up with a soulmate, his parents had been mature enough to warn him of this fact before life threw it at him with a huge gust of reality. They didn’t, however, tell him the reasons for it. Kenma assumed that they were powerful enough to break the rules of life and start to write their own fate. He began to wonder if he too could do the same; live in a world of his own with no outside threats of people trying to include him in this thing, that thing and everything. He stayed quiet, he kept to himself with a game in hand as he imagined this world without soulmates just for a little while. 

Fortunately, his parents stopped pushing friends on him. They were much too obnoxious for kids anyway, or maybe he was too mature for his age. The thought had never bothered him, he made it clear he didn’t want to make friends each time his mother took him by the hand to introduce him to someone. (She always won him over with the promise of a new game, the friendships never worked out). 

Soulmates were determined by the first thing they thought of you appearing on your wrist, Kenma was told, perhaps that was what scared him most. There were many things a person could think of you, many things they could say about you, assume and make up. Kenma lived hyperaware of this and made sure not to stand out. He rather get no words at all than something negative for the rest of his life; no one said the words on your wrist would be nice. 

Kenma was seven years old when his mother took his game away from him one afternoon, much to his dismay, and lead him downstairs. The dreaded feeling of anxiousness filled him once he realised; she was making him friends again. His only choice was cling to her, if there was any hope of getting his game back soon after for his compliance. He told himself that this was just another level he needed to beat, complete and advance to that ideal world where he wouldn’t have to deal with the hassle of soulmates. He could only believe this for so long. 

The boy was just a little taller than him, clinging onto someone Kenma assumed was his grandmother. The first thing Kenma noticed was the fact he was significantly quieter than most people he had come across, well actually the first thing he noticed was the nest that was resting on the boy’s head but the fact of the matter remained, he was shy maybe even withdrawn. Kenma’s dread slowly drained away, but his awkwardness remained. 

The two stared at one another, with such intensity Kenma feared that he would miss something important if he looked away. He wanted to hide further behind his mother, avert his gaze and yet at the same time he didn’t. He didn’t want to stop looking at the small pink flush to Tetsurou’s face, the words on his jumper or even the mess which laid upon his head, but a small twisting uncomfortable feeling twisted in his gut. He tore his eyes away, and stared at the ground.

‘What weird hair’ Kenma thought, he forgot for a moment how soulmates came to find one another. 

Kuroo Tetsurou didn’t actually think anything of the boy he met, until a few days later when he was invited to stay whilst his house was empty. The day they met, Kuroo had been too scared to even look away from Kenma once their eyes had met. Heart pounding so fast in his chest that he almost wanted to tug on his grandmother’s shirt and say that his heart was going to jump out. 

There was a weird itching feeling on his wrist, almost painful under the sleeves of his jumper as the conversation seemed to go on forever. He wanted to itch or check what it was, but doing so would mean letting go of his grandmother and drawing attention to himself. Kuroo bore through the feeling, until they finally went home. 

For Kuroo, soulmates was a fascinating concept. He often talked about it to his friends at school, daydreamed about finding the love he had heard from adults around him. He wondered what they would think upon seeing him, and lived life trying to make a good impression. So it was an understatement to say he was disappointed when the words appeared on his wrist over something he couldn’t control; ‘What weird hair.’

His family had chuckled at his upset, ruffled his ‘weird hair’ and reminded him of the positive; he had a soulmate. At a young age at that. 

Kuroo couldn’t deny that he didn’t _try_ and fix his hair after seeing those words on his wrist, he couldn’t deny the countless of attempts he had made at brushing it down or using his father’s gel to no avail. He gave up after a short while. 

Kuroo felt awkward standing by the door of Kenma’s room, Kenma _looked_ awkward standing in the middle of his room. Though the tension was thick, Kenma didn’t pose anything threatening about him, he didn’t come off intimidating or horrid. If anything, Kuroo wanted to be friends with the boy but he did not know how to go about it. Words were hard when you didn’t know enough about the person you are facing. They were harder when you were expected to be friends, Kuroo had a feeling it was because he was new here and it was because they were similar in age. 

Kenma’s room was a dream, games neatly packed, figures and toys decorating corners and shelves. Beneath the awkwardness, Kuroo really stood in awe. 

It took some time for the two of them to settle down, Kuroo opted out of playing alongside Kenma in favour of watching him play alone. It was amazing how skilled Kenma seemed to be, fingers tapping controls as though it was a second nature all whilst his eyes never left the screen. Kuroo was torn between watching his movements or watching the screen too, he wondered how many hours it took to get so good. Amazing, Kuroo thought, Kenma was amazing. 

Kenma didn’t even flinch at the itch to his wrist. 

The two only grew closer from then on out, Kuroo’s shyness faded away so quickly that Kenma wondered if he imagined it all this time. Volleyball was a love of Kuroo’s, something that brought him out of his shell and Kenma found he didn’t regret his offer of wanting to play games; he didn’t mind spending time outside tossing a ball about the air or explaining to his parents about the internal bleeding which Kuroo brushed off so nonchalantly. He found himself following Kuroo.

There was something Kuroo said one day that stuck with Kenma, something he had overheard when heading downstairs. How Kuroo had stated that ‘once he likes something he pours his soul into it’, Kenma wasn’t sure if he liked volleyball. He wasn’t sure if he could cope with being bossed around, picked on and talked about. Kenma wasn’t sure he wanted to continue being part of the team. 

He saw the sadness in Kuroo’s eyes as he told him this, the slight surprise and guilt. Kuroo’s words were loud in his ears; ringing in his mind as it fought with the part of him that wanted to give up on this level, on this battle that was only wearing him down. 

In all this time, Kenma had decided to ignore those letters which appeared on his wrist. He ignored the feelings of relief that washed over him at the realisation that it was _not_ negative, and the internal self-conflict of how they could possibly think so. He supposed that childlike part of him wanted to hold onto his fantasy of rewriting fate.

_“_ _You’re important”_ A tingle, faint and warm, passed through his wrist. _“So don’t quit the team.”_

Thinking back on their past now, Kenma is glad he accepted Kuroo as a friend. He’s glad that he followed him through volleyball club after volleyball club, he’s glad to have a companion in this small world of his. Kuroo knew his limits, his boundaries - how far he was willing to go and when to stop. Kenma knew his little habits, mannerisms, the times he needed to speak up. He wondered how to define their relationship, closer than family but not quite lovers. That’s what soulmates were for. 

“Kuro.” 

It was an afternoon like any other when Kenma felt the need to say something, Kuroo had been reading quietly (surprisingly) as Kenma’s fingers danced across his game controls. Kuroo paused, his eyes flicking down to his friend curled against his side. This was normal for them, Kuroo knew the glance alone was enough for Kenma to continue. 

“Why haven’t you tried to find your soulmate?” 

The question came as a shock, Kuroo almost dropped his book in the midst of processing what had been asked. He steadied it with his thumb, head jutting down in reflex of protecting his face. Kenma snickered at such a reaction, Kuroo rolled his eyes but the question still circled his mind. 

When did he stop getting excited over soulmates? When did he lose interest in searching for them? Kuroo thought back on his life, how he ended up here beside Kenma and how Kenma had taken the top spot of importance. 

He shrugged, “There are dozens of people out there who think my hair looks weird, at this rate it would be impossible to find my soulmate.” Kuroo answered, truthfully. “Though saying that, you haven’t tried to find your soulmate either. What’s that about?” He nudged Kenma with the arm the latter was leaning on.

Kenma huffed and moved his face away from Kuroo’s shoulder so he could focus on his game. Which is what this all really was, surely, a game of love and romance. “Do you really like the idea of some unknown force controlling your love life? Someone out there being so compatible for you that it doesn’t matter who you choose because they won’t be right?” Kenma didn’t mean to come off as philosophical and pessimistic as he did, he got the sense that Kuroo knew that however. 

Kuroo hummed, book marking his page and resting it on the table beside them. “Are you comfortable around me?” He asked, he wore a dopey look on his face - as far as Kenma could tell in the reflection of his screen - that clearly stated that he knew the answer to that question already. Still, Kenma let out a sound resembling a yes to satisfy him. “Would it be so bad to spend the rest of our lives together?” Kuroo followed on, somehow he sounded both smug and sincere. Kenma found he couldn’t imagine not being by Kuroo’s side. 

“You’re annoying,” Kenma mumbled, “but I’d prefer it to anyone else.” It surprised Kenma to think how far he had come from secluding himself in his made up world to being so at home with Kuroo by his side. It surprised him just how much he meant those words, how the thought of Kuroo being so at ease with anyone else sent jealousy sparking through his veins. Suddenly, breaking that fate seemed favourable to Kenma once again.

“I don’t know” Kuroo drawled, his lopsided smirk was back. “I quite like the thought of having you cling to me everyday.” 

Kenma shuffled away from his warmth, the left side of his body already feeling the difference in temperature. This time Kuroo laughed at his actions, and Kenma huffed in embarrassment. It was hardly clinging. 

Kuroo pulled him back through his laughter, now Kenma rested half on top of him. For a short while, they laid in silence, Kuroo had the same small flush to his cheeks just by his eyes like the first time they met. Except this time, he wore a small smile instead of a look of anxiousness, and Kenma thought; a lot had changed yet a lot has remained the same. 

‘What weird hair indeed’ Kenma mused, eyes following each strand and the wild directions it chose to stand in. They were close like this, Kenma could feel Kuroo’s breath on his face as his friend watched him, his face growing warmer. When Kenma could draw his eyes away from Kuroo’s hair, he noticed it; the change in his expression. 

“Kenma…” Kuroo’s voice sounded louder like this, despite it coming out as a murmur. “What did you think of me...the first time you saw me?” he asked, and suddenly Kenma felt seven again. Kuroo looked just as shy as he did the day they met. It came as a surprise that they hadn’t spoke about this sooner. 

Now there were no adults to hide behind, right now Kenma’s growing blush was clearly visible to his friend beneath him. “What weird hair.” Kenma whispered, and Kuroo finally understood. Why he didn’t bother to search for his soulmate, why he no longer daydreamed of what they were like, because they were there all along - he was already spending every day by their side with a relationship stronger than family but not yet lovers. 

“You truly are amazing, Kozume Kenma.” said Kuroo, this time his heart pounded in his chest for a different reason. This time Kenma does react to the tingling feeling which sends a soft buzz through his wrist. His quiet intake of air brought a larger smile to Kuroo’s shy, but overjoyed, face. “Guess it’s you and me forever then.” 

_Once Kenma decides he likes something, he pours his soul into it._

It’s weird just how long those words stuck with him, how Kenma never cringed at the use of soul, but laying here, chest to chest with his best friend; Kenma decided he _liked_ Kuroo and maybe just maybe he would he would give in to what his soul wanted. 

Kenma realised, on a lazy afternoon 10 years later, that maybe there was some satisfaction in finding your soulmate. Maybe, Kuroo was welcome to show him a new world.

A faint smile tugged at the corner of his lips, small and barely visible. “I guess,” said Kenma, as his eyes finally met Kuroo’s: “That’s not so bad.” 


End file.
